This is not the first time that this question has been up for analysis and discussions. Everyone has been running after the syllable ‘why?’ behind the plaque of easy fall outs of relationships in the past few years. Why do relationships these days fall apart in the blink of an eye?
The funny part of the question and our quest for the answer is that we are already breathing the answers. When you ask that question, you already know the answer, don’t you?
Let’s take it this way.
It’s no surprise that inconsequential relationship where dating is a result of pure boredom is the current fad. And, so reasons like boredom and reluctance to actually make the relationship work or put in any efforts pave way for the inevitable fall out.
But, that’s not exactly what we’re discussing here. Here, we’re trying to dig in for the reasons why meaningful contemporary relationships and marriages are collapsing.
The foundation problem of relationships these days is the minuscule effort that we put in trying to sustain them. Sometimes, you think you are making efforts in the relationship but you really are not. You might weep and run your hands through your hair and wonder why isn’t it working when you’re doing your best to resolve the issues in the relationship. But, crying, screaming at one another, fighting over past issues, blaming your partner or rationalising every single thing is not working on making it better.
These days every single feud between the couple leads to instant breakups. Clear communication and understanding take a back step where what you are or the other person is looking for in a relationship is never emphasised and brought to light in your conversations.
We are so bent on just staying together for the sake of companionship, social networking, peers or just about any reason that we fail to recognise the authentic value of our relationship with the other person and the reason why we got together in the first place.
I mean, it is understandable that we all are so busy trying to fit into this fast paced, ever changing lifestyle and are constantly looking for our own space somewhere. And relationships end up being one of those peaceful spaces for us. An escape.
However, the problem is, it soon takes up space in the category of life stressors when it should be in the escape section of our life. Well, that’s because relationships gradually become more like jobs where you do something because you have to, not because you want to. It becomes monotonous. A burden.
It is natural human tendency to abandon something or get over an obsession after you’ve possessed it. The same human behaviour, when applied to relationships, turns fatal.
We know, relationships are not a duty, but it is still a priority.
And getting so caught up with the world and your career as to have little or no time to communicate with your partner openly and understanding is where it actually goes wrong.
Lastly, it is important for us to keep in mind that every individual is different, and your partner is too. Accepting the person as who they are, coming to terms with the fact that they are different, have different ideologies, different approaches to life and might not have a common ground to share with you is the key to successful relationships.
Of course, it’s a road full of bumps and potholes but then which relationship isn’t. Nevertheless, it’s absolutely preposterous if you know you’re not happy, yet you stay together trying to mend something that does not even exist.
After all, it’s not a job that you have to sustain irrespective of your happiness. Having said that, it would also be ridiculous to let go of something beautiful over insignificant excuses.
Talk it out. Take a break if that’s all you need. Communicate openly about your issues. Reevaluate your relationship wisely and work on it together as a team. But remember, relationships are not supposed to be stressful. Take it easy, be forgiving and understanding, and TALK!
And this brings to another point that we need to talk about and discuss today’s dating culture before it gets too late. Here’s why!
Hey, there? This article has been picked to be republished under the ‘Best of TNT’ series. It is a step further for the content to be contagious to make it counted yet again and for the ones who missed it!
Crafted with brevity for select stories to make certain you see what others don't; sent every Friday
Two exclusive fortnightly newsletters, sent on Saturday alternately
a) Reel and Real with Rony Patra
b) Mixer with Ayush Garg