Sharon Ferrao Why Are We Afraid Of Being In Solitude? November 13, 2016

Aloneness – a state of mind that is caved within social biases. Yes, we understand that humans are social beings and like it’s said, it’s not good for a man to be alone. But is our social insecurity underestimating the goodness of aloneness?

A lot of us seem to instinctively believe that being alone is bad. However, the word is misconstrued, there is a huge difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Being alone is the choice to spend time with yourself and feeling lonely is the need to be in the company of others. In simple words, aloneness is presence while loneliness is a lack. They contradict each other!

We seek for companionship, we seek for love, and we seek for attention, but how often do we remember to seek for the voice within us? Solitude helps you connect with your inner-self. However, why are most of us afraid of it? As if being alone is one of the worst things that can happen to you!

Like plenty of us, are you afraid of being alone as well? Would you find it weird if you sat alone for hours in a coffee shop? Well, the good news is that it is okay to feel awkward, or have the fear of being alone. But, what you miss out is that it is also okay to be alone. There’s a need to realise the virtue of embracing the aliveness.

We should take forward this mantra of an introvert’s sanity and embrace it as our own. Because, under the right circumstances being in solitude is the best gift you can offer yourself.

Too much of anything can be potentially harmful. For instance, hugs. Yes, even too many hugs can irk you. Just think about how smothered and constricted you’d feel getting hugged every five minutes. Exhausting, right? So imagine what constant socialising does to your sanity. On the other hand, too much of isolation can quickly pave into loneliness. A little amount of solitude helps you vivify and re-balance alone-time with social connections.

As true as it is, most humans cannot perfectly multitask (including women). Most of us rapidly move task-to-task, reducing performance and effectiveness. Responding to others is also a task as it requires your awareness, attention, and energy which in turn can cause stress. Kudos to technology that we now multitask all the time. Solitude gives you the strength to kick-off the platforms of connecting with others and helps you connect with your own self. This break helps you to rejuvenate and connect better with others and yourself.


Have you ever been in a brainstorming session and have failed to function creatively? The cluster of too many ideas can often kill your train of creative thoughts. Studies show that you are more creative during solo time than when involved with others in brainstorming.

Being alone and in absolute spiritual silence with one’s self is not comfortable to most people. You are afraid of certain negative emotions, inhibitions, or experiences invading back in your head. Solitude makes you stronger, giving you the courage to fight your negative emotions rather than running away from them. It lifts you up from dependency on others and makes you self-efficient and independent.

In the hustle and bustle of life, an escape of solitude astonishes you on how beautiful life is. It gives you the power to reason every aspect of your vague situations and allows you to discover more about yourself. Solitude helps you to listen to the sound of silence around you. It helps you live the scent of your inheritance.

Solitude is beautiful. So go out while the sun is setting on an empty beach and truly embrace your Solitudinous.


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Wandering wordsmith fascinated by stories, part-time cave-woman, full-time dog lover, handwritten letters type old soul, get me a chocolate or kill me.

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