Rinky Marwaha To the Flip Side of EQ October 25, 2017

Several years of research have thrown up some very interesting nuances about emotional intelligence. It seems that those who are better performers are the ones with a higher value of emotional intelligence in them. In fact, a person’s EQ is said to be that quality of his or her which sets them on a scale higher than that of their peers. In a way EQ is something a bit mystical, so to say.

As many pieces of research also revealed, it constitutes four core skills which can be categorized in two primaries – personal competence and social competence. The former is made up of self-awareness and self-management; and the latter of social awareness and relationship management.

Self-awareness is our capacity to come to terms with our emotions. Self-management, on the flip side, is the inaneness to be able to stay in a mode to accurately “receive” and be positively moldable in our mannerisms and interactions.

Social competence is our capacity to be able to judge others’ emotions and actions and understand their various moods et al and better our relationship standards with them. Social awareness is to be able to really understand why people behave the way they do.

Relationship management is the capacity to transcend beyond your own and others’ emotions in a way to be able to manage relationships properly and to, in some which, try to have an upper hand in them.

An observation in this whole debate of IQ and EQ is that our intelligence is something which always stays the same. It does not change with age. EQ, however, can be improved upon.

There is a corner in this whole essay about what our ‘personality’ is as well. Is this a measure of IQ, or that of EQ, or both, or none? Our personality, as it turns out, is the overall behaviour and ‘presence’ factor which differentiates one person from another. This too, is said to stay the same all through our lives.

All in all, all three functions, i.e. the IQ, EQ and personality, viewed together, make up a person’s ability to deal with things, processes, situations and people.

EQ empowers, really

EQ, say some, is the most vital parameter by which a person’s professional wellness can be ascertained. The reason for this is that the EQ of a person is a base of a suite of other skills as well. It, in fact, touches upon all that one can do or say on a day to day basis. Interestingly, the other skills which the EQ has a bearing upon include time management, decision-making, change tolerance, communication, teamwork, empathy, presentation skills, anger management, trust, flexibility, accountability and a few others.

Real performers, as we have tried to say, are those who usually have higher EQs. Adding to it, those with higher EQ could be the bigger money-makers as well, or are they already? Also, what has been uncovered is that the link-ups between a person’s emotional and rational abilities are the “feeder” of EQ.

One can fine tune abilities to rationally “answer” each and every question related to any given event which happens to us. You can “make” yourself respond to situations differently as you gather your own posse of experiences.

The manner in which we wean ourselves “off” those reactions of ours which have proved harmful is the “food” for EQ.

EQ, as understood, is that manner and the capacity to understand, identify, pinpoint and even govern our emotions. Those who have more of it tend to be more in touch with their own selves and even with others. They can make more of a success of events and situations that those with lesser values of EQ can. EQ is now even taught in some secondary schools, B-schools and medical schools for this very reason. It hones in the power to be a well-accepted and more successful person in society.

But to all the good corners of EQ, however, it has a bit of a dark value attached to it as well. If you can so to say, “manage” your own and even others’ emotions to some extent, it actually means you have the power to mistreat this power of yours, but if only, you do.

You can secretly hide your own emotions and play around with those of others. It gives you the expression to not show your real self to the world or to those you wish to “fool” in some which way.

At times, those with high EQ can even change the behaviour of those around them or in a way – ‘make them dance to their tunes.’

They can be so persuasive that others behave in a manner in which the high EQ person wishes them to. Thus, if a high EQ person actually is thinking “ill,” he or she is more capable of making others’ do as he or she pleases – which may not be such a good thing after all.

EQ makes you feel empowered, oh, why not

The good part is that this a lot of people suggest that this does not happen very often. In most cases, awareness of high EQ usually leads a person to accomplish a task or a motive which is purely for advancement and not really for debunking another person.

Another parameter which has popped up in this whole debate is that higher EQ serves those people well who are involved in professions where emotional states make a difference. For example, take salespeople or call centre representatives or those in customer care units. They deal with people on a real-time basis and with a live audience.

However, when it came to those who have a job like accountancy, research or engineering – higher level EQ people, in fact, were the ones who did not fare as well as those with higher IQ did. There is, however, more of study which is needed in this aspect to be more on firm ground in it.

Nonetheless, when it comes to moulding opinions about a given nuance of a job, again, where more of “human intervention” is needed, it is again those with higher EQ which seem to serve the purpose better.

Those who need more of mechanical or mathematical knowledge and related spheres may actually be a bit better off with higher IQ levels. Though, when it comes to life in general, studies suggest, it is higher EQ which will enable you to live better and brighter.

It is this “aid” in your system which will give you the ‘tick’ in making people understand you as per your terms and conditions and not so much as theirs.

In essence, it makes you feel more empowered to be able to have your voice heard in louder tones than that of others’ around you. Or, in other words, have your very own will not just stated but even followed up by not just you yourself but even by others’ around you. Is this not exactly just the kind of utopian situation happen which most of us wish for?

Hey, there? This article has been picked to be republished under the ‘Best of TNT’ series. It is a step further for the content to be contagious to make it counted yet again and for the ones who missed it!

A writer by profession and more by choice. I feel strongly for all tasks in which either parent can work or stay at home basis of their kids to have their share of parental care. I am also a spoken English trainer for it is English language that makes my world tick.

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