Aekta Khubchandani Another You, Another Me September 20, 2015

It’s going to be the best break up. We’re meeting again. We’re meeting for one last time, for kisses and hugs and everything that would follow. We’re ending things well. There has been so much to say that we haven’t said it at all. We’re going to make love to words we can’t say and one of them would be goodbye.

The Goodbye
(Part I)

He called me over to his place. It was just the two of us. He wrapped me a big tight hug, the one that said, “We’re just getting started.” I was smiling so much that I could barely kiss him but when he picked me up, I clinged on to him like a monkey. We couldn’t stop kissing. We just couldn’t.

While laying me on the bed, he put pillows and cushions under my head. And, together for a while we stayed cuddled up listening to music that made our hearts pump louder.

Hold on to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave (wave) is stringing us along

Just know you’re not alone
‘Cause I’m gonna make this place your home

The smiles got wider and the cheeks got redder. We didn’t care much about our clothes and all of that felt like it was going to last longer. I remember looking into his eyes and remembering the memories we shared. There were so many of them that my brain took time to flash even one.  We had a conversation the previous day.

“Him: I wish we could pause time. Right now. And, the whole universe would be filled into just one soul.
Me: One soul?
Him: Yes! One soul. so that the other one can be dependent on it. One depends on the other, because two are weak and one is strong. And, because one wins and two cannot.”

Then, the song changed and so did the flash of memory.

I got a feeling we are gonna win
Our bodies make it perfect
And your eyes can make me swim

Then again everything seems new
I can barely hold my tongue
To say the least I’m into you

With the weed that we had taken, we got slower in movement and got lost into each other. My long hair covered his curly hair. And, when he kissed and bit me, he did that to my hair too. We laughed and I played with his hair promising him I’ll get a boy cut the next time. And he said, “Or, you could just tie your hair.”

And your eyes
Are saying more than we can talk and warmer than our bedroom sport
And your thighs
Are kisses from the outside, girl that’s all I need

I’ll take you down the other road
To breathe in something more

I’ll find it harder to ignore
The things I want you for

He whispered, “You have a pretty nice physique.” Then, looking at the face I made, he corrected himself by saying, “I mean, ‘figure,’ obviously.” And I said, “Yea. Right. Well, thanks but no thanks.” And we laughed like happy fools.

Him: I have never felt this way. The ‘thanks but no thanks,’ you’re amazing.
Me: Well, I haven’t ever felt this way either.
Him: I don’t know how much and if I like it. (Maybe I don’t like it at all).

When I press an ear up to your breast
I can hear the rhythm start
It’s hard to tell our beats apart

So I hope you’re listening right now
Cause I can barely hold my tongue
The shit we do could warm the sun

At night
Twisted in a melting fall and sleeping with the scratching claws
And your words
Let me know you’re feeling me and seeing all the things I see

Instead of concentrating on the past memories, I wanted to feel the moment we shared then. I wanted to hear things he wouldn’t say and let our bodies do their play.

Me: Tell me something I don’t know?
Him: “I got slapped by three girls on the same day, in the 8th grade back in school. I was dating them all.”
We laughed to that and he changed the song. We were laughing to anything and everything that any of us said. We were so happy.

You gotta know, I’m feeling love
Made of gold, I’ll never love a
Another one, another you
It’s gotta be love I said it

It was Chet Faker’s song again. We loved Chet Faker. I loved the way he sang, the lyrics and the music that accompanied it all along. But, all I could hear was, “Another one, another you.”  I was feeling so dizzy and my vision was hazy. But, I could see him happy, he was smiling endlessly.

The Goodbye
(Part II)

She fainted or passed out. To be honest, I don’t know which one it is. She looks so beautiful in bed, in all the ways I can imagine. She looks pale and exquisite. All that is missing is a few scars. I think I’ve fallen in love with this girl, her body and her eyes. Her eyes are sexy and they look beautiful because it’s those eyes that trust me. Gently, I put her head off the pillows and cushions and the bed too. Her neck touches the edge of the bed, her hair kisses the floor and her collar bone jumps out. Her neck looks longer and I can’t resist kissing it. But, I’m getting so carried away. I land up tearing the flesh around that area. I haven’t been harsh. It’s a peel a thin peel of flesh and drops of blood around. I feel like her body is my canvas and I want to paint it red. She’s been through much more pain when we’ve made love but for some reason, I hear a faint cry that leaves her mouth open. But, she’s still passed out. So, I kiss her to tell her it’s okay because she used to do that to me (although she did it differently and meant differently from what I do), I’ll always like the things the way I do.

I want this to be red and romantic and I play a song of our playlist.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
‘Cause I saw the end before we’d begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what’s mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.

I remember how much she loved intricate designs. So, that’s how I decided to paint her body. Slowly and neatly, scratching and scrapping, peeling and tearing her flesh, starting from her heart, I’m hallucinating of dancing with her soul.

I’ve kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I’ve been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

“You stabbed me with love. And what I’m doing to you is less worse,” saying that I did all that I wanted. My half painted red canvas was ready and I am crying to its glory. Love is all nice and fancy but, it’s just not meant for a sociopath like me.

You gotta know, I’m feeling love
Made of gold, I’ll never love a
Another one, another you
It’s gotta be love I said it

Avatar for Aekta Khubchandani

A doodle artist, a basketball player and a crow lover. She has her mind travelling to places unknown but, she loves to physically travel too. For her, good food and good coffee are therapy. She also believes in magic. Her life rotates around hallucinations, dreams and visions. And, she likes to see things differently.

Crafted with brevity
to make certain you see what others don't

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