Geetika Datta The 10 Kinds of Relationship-y Labels Before Attaining Absolute Exclusivity April 1, 2015

So, you’re not in a committed relationship just yet, but there’s definitely something going on with you two. Maybe it’s one sided, maybe it’s just physical, maybe you see a spark, or you’re just playing the field. Anyhow, you’re not exclusive. So, you don’t wanna label it or anything? (Like, duh!)

Too bad, bro. We’re here to ruin that for you. It’s complicated, you say? Well, we’ve got labels for just about any possible situation, before you call them your significant other. Uncomplicate, we say.


You’ve set your sights on someone, and they leave you drooling every time they walk by. Your feelings for them could be anything ranging from “Wow! He/she is cute!” to “I wish I could marry him/her”, though you’re not really in love with them, just yet. You’re lusting after them in full force, often contemplating what your kids would look like (guys read: Dayyam, that a*s!). Whether you’re tongue tied in front of them or the easy breezy pick-up artist, as long as you’re not getting together, it’s still just a crush.


Sex on tap, minus the frills. That’s all it is. Anytime of the day or night, you or your partner wants it, one ping and BAM! You’re doing it. You love having sex with each other but there’s not a single emotional element to the relationship…Or whatever this is! This continues for as long as you can manage to remain strangers to each other in every way, except the bedroom.


A classic example of ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’! That’s right. You’re both in need, and you’re just friends indeed! This is an extremely common arrangement where two buddies not only enjoy each other’s camaraderie as companions, but also as sexual partners. It’s like you’re not only each other’s moral support system, but also a physical stress buster. Although, balance is of utmost essence here. Tread carefully.


“No we’re not dating. We’re just texting. And talking. Li’l bit.” So you like him and he likes you back, and you know that he likes you and he knows that you like him (phew!), but you’ve not really made it a formal, official relationship for whatever reason, be it commitment phobia or any other boohocky! And no, having hooked up a couple of times does not count!


“Lovers,” is sort of an outdated, cheesy word that most people have only ever heard on “Murder She Wrote” (“What was your relationship to the deceased?” “We… we were lovers”). But there’s no other word that quite captures the essence of this particular relationship. Lovers are not committed to each other, but they have deep feelings for one another. For whatever reason, however, it can never be.


Now, this term is slightly debatable. Although, here we’re talking about people going out on dates with one person or more, with the dates not specifically resulting in a commitment of any kind. You’re definitely not exclusive and may or may not have seen the undersides of each other’s bed sheets.


When you’re “seeing someone” it usually means you’re headed towards a relationship or at least considering/hoping it turns into one. You’re not necessarily exclusive. You could possibly still be in the dating stage, but there’s definitely something you’re looking forward to with this person. You can date many people at once, but seeing more than one person, well, that ain’t happening if you’re actually thinking of starting something up with them. 


Self explanatory. No? Yeah sure, you guys broke up for a reason. But the reason probably wasn’t what you did between the sheets, now, was it? So if you’re both still single, there’s no harm in having fun together outside the little ‘us’ that you had built, right? I mean, what’s more comfy than familiar waters!


Nobody’s labeling anything at this point, but, given the amount of time you’re spending together, you can basically assume that neither one of you is sleeping with anyone else. That is, unless an “ex with sex” happens to be in town for the weekend. Or some beautiful, possibly drunk person that you’re totally never going to see again is basically throwing him/herself at you (and you’re possibly drunk, too). The PMX period is a time when you’re basically obligated to take advantage of any and all uncomplicated sex that comes your way — because it won’t last long!


You’re not dating them, you’re not sleeping with them. They’re that person that your significant other, or any other possible romantic or sexual cohort, is totally jealous of and wants nothing but to just pummel them to the ground just for being in your life. Together you guys are the pair that makes everyone go “When are you getting married already?!” And sometimes you think maybe you should, but on second thought you realize you don’t see them that way, cuz you know, gross! But there’s a part of your heart that they’ve got on lockdown that nobody can touch.


Gif Source: Giphy, Tumblr

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Scientific researcher in-the-making, but writing is what captures my heart. Highly opinionated one moment, freakishly diplomatic the very next. Jack of all trades, master of, well, at least some (I'd like to believe). Headstrong and an eleutheromaniac, I'm on the perpetual journey to self discovery.

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