Expectations lead us to give a note to self with disappointment to make sure we do not expect the very next time. Yes, your read it right! We need to stop expecting a lot from anyone and everyone.
Keep your expectations high on achievement and low on people.
We all have expectations in our life. Now that’s the most basic trait of being human. We have expectations in every phase of life from people around us and of course, from ourselves as well. It is very difficult to ask someone on not to expect too much or expect at all because somewhere down the line everyone believes in give and take policy and that’s what makes us expect a lot at times.
Some people love your actions towards them and will try to reciprocate in the same manner while some only appreciate and feel happy but don’t wish to reciprocate. This does not make them bad because their nature is such or their mind is fixated in such a way.
But on the other end, the person who is giving in nature is the one who gets frustrated because they feel they are not getting their share the way they want it to be. That is where expectations start hurting and anxiety comes into place!
Give without expectation, accept without reservation, and love with hesitation.
Now that’s the mantra you read above. The key of expecting is having realistic expectations. Always consider the ones that are realistic and don’t waste your thoughts or sentiments on the unrealistic ones. By expecting we tend to lose at the present time that is there for us to enjoy and chill with people we love and care for. I’ve realised that these expectations cause more stress than joy.
The key of expecting is having realistic expectations.
Expecting from your friends for the extra special treatment you do for them or from your husband to keep you happy or from your children to achieve great heights and so on are all some expectations which give, both, you and the other person equal amount of stress. Probably the one trying to meet your expectations has more stress because they always have to keep trying and maybe you never are satisfied.
We neglect to realise it but it so happens. We need to give a thought to differentiating between ambitious and expecting a lot.
Managing our expectations is crucial mainly because for our own happiness. Fewer disappointments lead to more happiness. Expectations somewhere end up creating demands from others which stresses the gentle fibre of relationships, and to save the gentle fibre of relationship from getting destroyed we should know how to control what we demand (and expect) from others else soon we will be left with just ourselves and a lot of disappointment.
No expectation means no disappointment.
Before expecting, there are certain points which one should always keep in mind. If you have the right answers to these then you are certainly on the benefit side while trying not to take the expectations too personally.
1. Are you aware of the expectations you are creating?
2. Can you meet your needs through some other way in the situation?
3. Are your expectations reasonable?
4. How would you take it if your expectations are not met?
5. Are you a flexible personality when it comes to tackling the unexpected situations?
Always try to fit your expectations into the reality so that you experience mere disappointment or maybe no disappointment. You can’t stop hoping but you can always accept as it is and own up to it.
A Computer Science Engineer by education and Business Analyst by profession. I believe we are who we choose to be and we have to go out and fight for it. I have Passion for writing and love to give my view point on different situations.