The ink on the pages emanated the sweet, fading smell of the lost memories. Happy, sad, beautiful, treasured memories of the past. The words on the pages danced to the tunes of the rainbow of her emotions. Sometimes dark and sometimes bright. Each page narrated a different story. Each story revealed a different shade of her personality.
She wasn’t tagged as a colourful personality for any reason after all. Going back through the labyrinth of her tied up memories one by one she was once again confronting face to face with the most beautiful chapter of her life. The chapter that changed a little something in her and transformed her; not entirely but to an entirety.
Sometimes just a fading memory of something or someone is enough to bring back that lost intensity, the dwindling hopes, and the waning love.
Today she was alone, yet in her most deserving company of her own soul because sometimes people in their being can’t do what their already woven memories can. Don’t be afraid of those soft nostalgic moments; embrace them and smile through those falling tears for their presence primarily.
Sunday, October 5, 2010
He was the most beautiful chapter of my life.
We eat, we drink, we study, we party, we play, we work, we walk, we talk; everything we do, has a little ‘us’ in it which makes it different from the way others do it. But whatever I did, had a little ‘him’ in it which made it all the more ‘me’ to start with.
He was just him, but yet each time we were together I found a ‘me’ hiding in him somewhere.
It struck me and struck me real hard, so hard that whatever I do, still shouts out his presence somewhere. He is not my father, or brother, or even a friend. He was just an acquaintance. He was the most beautiful chapter of my life.
Sometimes some people enter our lives only to leave it changed forever. I am still the person I was before I met him, yet I am not me anymore, or maybe I am ‘me’ even more. He didn’t teach me anything extraordinary, or even ordinary for that matter. He just made me have a glimpse of what I was like, by being himself.
I know it’s a little confusing to understand, but just ask yourself a question. Who are we? And what do we look for in our lives? One will probably say a satisfying job, loving partner, and a beautiful life. But that’s not what we look for our entire lives. We seek adventure, fun, and adrenaline rush. He was exactly that. He was my dose of adventure, my mix of fun. He was my adrenaline rush.
People say ‘opposites attract’ but the truth is that we spend our entire lives looking for that one person who is exactly like us, not everyone is lucky enough to find one but I was. I found him. And that is exactly when I found myself buried deep inside him.
He was me and I was him, together we were the best of us.
But sometimes some adventures are so exquisite, so serene, so calming that turning them into a reality would wash away all the numbing effect of it leaving us weary and tired from experiencing it yet again. I didn’t want my adventure to turn into a routine. I didn’t want to lose my identity by being with him because then we would have been just ‘us’ and the ‘me’ and ‘him’ would have been completely lost in the process. I wanted to lose myself in him but I didn’t want to lose myself for him.