Jyoti Malhotra What it is like to be an Old School Romantic in the Era of Speed Dating April 27, 2017

If you are this hopeless romantic who remembers people by the smell of their cologne and the sparkle in their eyes, welcome to the millennial dating routine; and consider it more like a warning than a warm welcome.

In the age of Tinder and other similar dating apps, we only wish finding love was just as easy as finding a partner by swiping right. Gone are the days of anticipating phone calls and love letters. The feeling of excitement and nervousness pertaining to love is now replaced by seasonal anxiety, that erupts the most with unanswered texts and unreciprocated feelings.

While being cold and emotionally restricted about love and commitment is oh so in vogue, us romantics living in a parallel universe where love is all about commitment, feel extremely out of place and gullible for holding efforts above all in the process of knowing or being with someone.

What happened to the idea of date nights followed by coffee, the bittersweet process of knowing someone and going an extra mile to make them feel comfortable about their vulnerabilities?

All of these important aspects of having a meaningful relationship is replaced by speed dating, followed by “your place or mine?”.

Love has become more like a highly romanticised thing found only in Victorian novels and movies.

What it is like to be Old School Romantic

We could try and run away from the fact that emotional stability is a huge part of one’s well-being and holistic development, the idea of having someone stick by us every now and then will hit us hard making us feel all the more miserable about not having a deep emotional connect with someone, while having thousand virtual friends on social media.

Relationships are not collaborations and dating is not a business deal. You can never have an account of how much more one does than the other to keep the relationship going. All you can do is give your best and do that with all your heart and soul.

While there’s so much insecurity and instability, in general, pertaining to dating nowadays, we cannot neglect the fact that the generation today enjoys the privilege to decide for themselves, which gives them the liberty and choice to experiment. The idea of live-in relationships has gained so much more acceptance in the society today. What could be better than having an opportunity to know your potential partner in and out before you plan to spend the rest of your life with them?

What it is like to be Old School Romantic

The idea of communication.

The rate at which we have a new messenger app every other day, communication gap should only narrow with the increase in the number of these apps. But sadly, conversations are replaced by small talks.

The generation before has seen instances of successful long distance relationships in almost every family, and the ease with which they worked even with the major communication gap. Well, the gap is very well replaced with apps like FaceTime and Skype that not only help two people to stay in touch, but also help two people to virtually live in each other’s worlds.

While there’s so much to talk and communicate, and so many platforms to do so, the idea of staying in touch isn’t colloquially same to the idea of having a connection.

What it is like to be Old School Romantic

The fear of acceptance.

We are all people with experiences, but for some of us​, the past is too daunting to be forgotten. This can create a fear of acceptance within us and come in our way every time we decide to give commitment a shot. It is extremely important to be confident about who you are and lock all your daunting experiences in the darkest chambers of your brains. Don’t let the past affect your ability to have a beautiful relationship for yourself.

Whilst the chaos and constant trial and error at relationships, we still believe that few years down the line people will come back to loving the idea of having meaningful conversations with their potential partners, wanting to know them on a deeper level, and all the cute stuff; from movie dates followed by roadside ice creams to attending a game or two together will come to life, yet again.

A unicorn at heart, dramatics enthusiast and writer by profession, I am all for all kinds of arts. “Make hay while the sun shines and bask in its beauty as you lay on the hay.”

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