I need “wine with soda” because these worse of worst statements makes a Shock-Mock-Cock-Tail.

By - - 6 mins read

We have stepped up to the year 2015, being the world’s largest democracy, most of us believe to be liberals and many of us always try to be rebel. Different people have their different ideologies to sustain and survive in this country, so called India marking their own opinions, no matter what that they create controversies or gain sympathies or hurt sentiments, for-from-of 121 crore population living up in this country. I wish, I would have had never heard these statements, and went through this..this unendurable mental torture.

Alot has happened so far to empty the bin with the hope that we would have never recycled it but some-things have no limits, and so some people have thought and planned that they will be remain unstoppable for-ever, no matter what does it give or take or hurt but they will try to fart to spoil the ambience.

Here is the list of statements, I’ve come across which are the most shabby, content is so tawdry and defines a lean deviating to only blemish the mawkishness.

1) Sharad Yadav, Chairperson of JDU

“Matrimonial Ads also ask for fair-skinned brides. In the entire country, there are more dark-skinned(saanvle) men. The women of south are beautiful, their bodies..their skin..We don’t see it here.”

Yadav also came out with an ignoble texture turning into a statement that “Leslee Udwin(the director of BBC controversial documentary India’s Daughter) was given permission to shoot in restricted areas like Tihar Jail because she was a “fair-skinned women” for whom “all-doors open”.”

For instance, after Mayawati got a bob-cut a few years ago, Mulayam Singh Yadav called her a “parkati aurat”, a short-haired woman. And now see this tweet :

Parkati

Yeah, Mr.Sharad, you are also very beautiful, you still have got few dark hairs and I think Tihar will never ignore you as well, it will be please to welcome you but yes, not for an interview, for sure. You know, what I mean. And so, #ShameOnSharad was a tweeting trend all around the nation.

2) PK Shahi, Bihar Education Minister

“The Government is helpless to stop the dishonest practices(cheating in board exams) unless parents and students cooperate for the same. We just can’t fire bullets to escape from all this.”

Chit

Man, you deserve the standing ovation not by us but definitely, by those parents and mafias who stepped up to nurture the future of their own home into darkness and a lose dignity. You made the generations to feel ashamed of having you who represent us and High-Court has already said it all, I hope you have got a notification through those chits. 

3) Sakshi Maharaj, BJP MP

“Every hindu woman should give birth to atleast four babies.”

Firstly this had gone viral, and in favour of him, Shankaracharya of Badrikashram, Shri Vasudevanand Saraswati, urged Hindu women to have ten children each.

Some Tweets in Response :

Vir Das : “Dear Sakshi Maharaj, as long as every Hindu woman has even one kid who laughs at your speech, I think we will be okay.”

Vikram Bhatt : “Sakshi Maharaj wants all Hindu women to have at least four children. The good news, he hasn’t specified the number of husbands.”

Hey Amigos, do you remember that quote which says “Jahan soch, wahan Shauchalya?” Bring It On.

4) Ghulam Nabi Azad, Leader of opposition in Rajya Sabha from INC.

“If there is electricity in every village, people will watch TV till late night and then fall asleep. They won’t get a chance to produce children. When there is no electricity, there is nothing else to do but produce babies.”

 Yo, he’s a love-guru, such a romantic thought, that is the only reason we are still very less in number, 121 crore, now make it to 1212121 crore, is that okay? I guess, he is also a well-deserved expert cum critic on Population Control agenda.

5) Abhijit Mukherjee, Congress MP and son of President Pranab Da.

“Those who claim to be students – I can see many beautiful women among them – highly ‘dented-painted’ – they’re giving interviews on TV, they’ve brought their children to show them the scenes. I have grave doubts whether they’re students, because women of that age are generally not students.”

Was that a review on protests against mishaps going around the country? And Arnab justified his socialism face-to-face, one-on-one with a background music. Watch out this Mashup Video – Say Ooooooh Lalalalala.

6) Recipe to make an uneatable Cake by our own voted masterchefs :

Step 1 : Put a base of plastic and spray the petrol all over it just like this.

Kapil Sibbal, Congress

“There was a zero loss to the exchequer from the 2G spectrum allocation(so called 2G scam).”

Step 2 : Burn that plastic and smell it, if it smells too bad then it’s ready to put on some bread.

Salman Khurshid, Congress

“If we send industrialists to jail, we would be discouraging investment.” 

Step 3 : Add on cream with bread and spray the HIT so that no mosquito can eat it. You can also use mosquito repellent, but spraying is much easy than this.

P. Chidambaram, Congress

“No loss to government due to coal mining scam.”

Step 4 : Bake the cake at the temperature of minimum 200 degree celsius for 45 minutes and then take it out, put cherry on the cake and name it as “We don’t Regret.”

Sunil Shinde, Congress

“The public forgot Bofors, soon they will forget this coal scam as well.”

Finally, the uneatable cake is ready, now can we please throw it out? I guess Nagar Nigam one’s will also refuse to accept it as a waste, it can only be buried because if you left it in open, it can also cause Swine Flu and even Ebola.

7) Nanki Ram Kanwar, Chattisgarh Home Minister

“We have no answer to this rising spate of crimes against women. Stars are not in position, harm can come on a person if the stars are in adverse positions…We have no answer to this, only an astrologer can predict.”

Even, Bejan Daruwalla would raise up his hands for this to predict. Guess what, I’m one bottle down and I wanna hangover tonight.

8) Ajit Pawar, Chief of Nationalist Congress Party

“If there is no water in the dam, how can we release it? Should we urinate into it? If there is no water to drink, even urination is not possible.”

This statement was given when the drought struck in Maharashtra and a farmer was on a hunger strike for 55 days. Do you think should we ask more? He has also served the Maharashtra being as Deputy CM. Now, I think we should have asked for some less because I want to puke!

9) A long but sordid story defining an ideology over Rape. Go ahead one by one :
Jitendar Chattar, leader of Khap Panchayat, Haryana :

“Consumption of fast food leads to such incidents. Chowmein leads to hormonal imbalance evoking an urge to indulge in such acts.”

Satyadev Katare, Congress Leader in MP :

“No man will harass a woman till she looks at him in a suggestive manner.”

Dharambir Goyat, Haryana Congress Leader :

“I don’t feel any hesitation in saying that 90 per cent of the girls want to have sex intentionally but they don’t know that they would be gang raped.”

Asaram Bapu, self-proclaimed GODMAN :

“She should have taken God’s name and could have held the hand of one of the men and said ‘I consider you as my brother’, and should have said to the other two ‘Brother I am helpless, you are my brother, my religious brother’.”

Babulal Gaur Yadav, BJP : 

“This is a social crime which depends on the man and the woman. It is sometimes right and sometimes wrong.”

Mulayam Singh Yadav, Chief of Samajwadi Party : 

“The poor fellows, three of them have been sentenced to death. Should rape cases lead to hanging? Boys are boys, they make mistakes. Two or three have been given the death sentence in Mumbai. We will try and change such laws…we will also ensure punishment of those who report false cases.”

Abu Azmi :

“Any woman who goes along with a man, with or without her consent, should be hanged.”

Stunned! Goosebumps! Yes? Yesssssss! Folks, I am looking for that word which can describe these people, well may be someday we can get it from planet Mars.

10) Sadhvi Prachi, Member of Vishwa Hindu Parishad

“Hindus should boycott watching movies which star the three Khans of Bollywood, because such movies promote love jihad.”

Well, this one I have saved to showcase you at the last because it justifies the quote very well i.e. “Last but not the least.” It is just not only illogical but contains a frame of hilariousness which develops an undercurrent while buffering the load of content. I still gotta doubt that what about the other Khan’s movie? Why should more or less, other Khans have all the fun? KRK, tum bhi bach gaye bhai!

I am freezed. I am thrashed. I reached at the rock-bottom. And I wish, our future generations will never get to face such idioticity which not only blurs the persona but also forces to feel SHAMEFUL! I am done with this Shock-Mock-Cock Tail, tastes actually YUCK, and please don’t intent to review this on Zomato.

Information Source : Google, Media Channels.

GIF Image Source : Reactiongifs.

Tags:

Ayush Garg

Content Developer. Strategist. (A true) Startup Enthusiast. A kind of a guy who relies on analysis, and writes to spoil the masks. A threat to humor, if one liners could kill. Twitter: @profylayush.

Leave a Reply

Comments: