Ayush Garg UP, UPTU and Engineers March 5, 2015

Yes, you all Metro-citywalas, yes you all India-walas, have you ever been to the Sarv-shrestha Pradesh of all the states, countries and world? Arey UP se hun bhaiya, zyada angrezi nahi aati bolni, zyada chapar-chapar kari to thokne ka dum bhi rakhta hun. So, I meant to ask, have you ever been to the one and the only state of all the states, “UP”? One thing I am sure of, when you enter to UP, the first hoarding you will get to see is Uttar Pradesh me apka Hardik Swagat hai, may be that will boost your trip, and experience, I can’t say that, the story continues from here:

1: Pehli baat to ye, jo tu Tik-Tok Tik-Tok chalti hai, this line, or say Idiom suits to all of the cities of the innocent and great Uttar Pradesh like that guy in Jolly LLB who was young and innocent. Yahan kab goli chal jaaye, kuch keh nahi sakte aur agar kuch kaha to Dange bhi ho sakte hain bhaiya. Yahan kab kaun Faizal ban jaye, pata nahi aur kab kaun-kiska badla lele, wo bhi pata nahi. Baaki to Savdhaan India, Fight Back Now.


2: No matter you have a 4X4 vehicle or a Hummer, when you go on the roads, you are the same as that Rickshaw-wala, the panic of his stamina while riding that rickshaw is directly proportional to the panic of the brakes of your vehicle. Horn dete jao, traffic ki lete jao, gaali bakte jao, irritate hote jao aur aage badhte jao, bhaiya yahi hai yahan gaddi chalane ka funda. Koi shaq?


3: Here’s there is nothing like Traffic, it’s always Terrific, you don’t need to plan an adventurous trip, just explore UP, you will find the posh market areas, the high-level of gentle crowd, the highness of sympathies, a well-maintained tracks, several restaurants at milestones, etc etc etc. Wait, the above part was IMAGINARY, you won’t find a single one, and that is how UP makes it adventurous. One thing is for sure, Dhabas are all out there but good food is not guaranteed, try at your own risk, even bills could be charged depending upon the day or night, with family or girlfriend, and using Tata or Audi.


4: Galti se bhi angrezi gaana nahi bajega, aur agar baja to Aata Maajhi Satakli, come on you people, treasure some desi-flavoured songs, you will get to hear Madam Baith Bolero Me or Akon in Haryanvi, and a long-list continues. Hai ghar, hai paisa, hai gaadi…Noida aao, fir karayein tumko sawari. Yes, you will see a Range-Rover carrying the cow-dung while a Maruti 800 carrying 8 people, both at the same time, and both have their different flavours, tastes well only in UP.


5: Travel through the highways or bye-pass roads, you will surely find TOO many engineering colleges with their huge placement track record and when you go inside the college, none of the student will tell you that which company has hired the student rather they will start complaining about the college management and you will be like, why that college hoarding says different from all of them? Confuse mat ho bhaiya, yahan sab ek-number, do-number se chalta hai. Ek baar admission lo to chaar-saal jhelne ki guarantee ke sath, paanch saal bhi ho sakta hai. Aur yahan engineering me sirf yahi seekhne ko milta hai $%^&%*^*^@#$#%$**#*, Arey I mean GHANTA.


6: Past few days, Amazon had tweeted that “There is a bit of Amazon in each E-commerce industry”, and see what’s next, there is a lot of UPTU in every citizen of UP, bhaiya tum nahi hoge UPTU se, to tumhara bhai hoga, ya mausi ki ladki hogi ya bua ka beta ya tumhare PAPA, koi to pakka hoga, abhi bhi nahi mila to dhundh lo yaar. I guess, UP has more engineers with the Dhaakkad attitude than any other country have ever seen in the world. Infact, after an engineer, you could be any professional in any field, instead of being only an engineer, isliye aisa kyunki yahan ki engineering samajhna mushkil hi nahi, namumkin hai.


7: This statement is very common to all i.e. I am an engineer only by degree, rest everything by skills, no matter I have interests or not. HOD’s do say that if you aren’t getting a job, don’t worry, we are calling up BPOs to hire you, you will settle down soon and the very next moment, you gets blank, you were already by head, now you are by interests too, admit it. By the way, when that name is not stable, how will a student could be? Sometimes it’s UPTU, then it’s GBTU, then it’s MTU, then it’s GBTU for Lucknow region and MTU for Noida region, hell, stop, I am so confused that what I was talking about. Better Get Well Soon, yes you UPTU.


It’s just a bit of the UP, one day when you will explore it, you will get to know and believe that one who has learned to survive here, will survive all over the GLOBE. UP is a state which has everything but not everything, irony is that it is always at the status of “Work is in Progress and we have no Regrets about it.” Chill and Go Ahead.

*Note : Stills are taken from the random movie scenes.

Content Developer. Strategist. (A true) Startup Enthusiast. A kind of a guy who relies on analysis, and writes to spoil the masks. A threat to humor, if one liners could kill. Twitter: @profylayush.